left breast or your life

Name : Anonymous

Age : 30

Why : Having to choose between Left Breast or my life

I am a cancer survivor. That sounds like someone who actually lived through the holocaust or survived an earthquake. Yes talking about earthquake, that is how it felt when the doctor said they had to remove my left breast. I wasn't even afraid of dying, but more afraid of losing my hair and my breast. I imagined I would walk tilted to the side because of the weight of the right breast. That is funny and sad because I am only a B-cup. In order words, it doesn't weigh that much. I imagined all the lovely clothes I love to wear that will now look like something left on the washing line. I imagined having to wear wigs and the wind blowing it off in the middle of a crowded park. I imagined looking like a man only without the little bit.

My husband mourned after the Mastectomy because the left breast (baptized lolly) was his favorite. Lol! I know men are so shallow and so was I to a certain degree. When my hair started to grow back, I was elated. I felt I was healed. After months of conversation with my husband we decided to go for reconstructive surgery. The surgeon will be using parts taking from my body to rebuild a new "lolly" The good thing about this is two-fold. One, I get to order two bigger "lollies". Second, I get to lose that fat belly I have been logging around for so many years. Third, I don't have to stuff my bra with padding in order to have my breasts appear symmetrical. I know most people would think being alive is already a miracle that cancer survivors should cherish. That is very true and everyday my husband and I cherish every moment we have together. However, being alive is not the same as living. Part of what makes me a women is having my hair and 2 breasts! Furthermore, what is the point of being alive without actually living?

Has anything changed since surviving cancer? Yes, After going through such a near death experience, it makes you stronger as a person. It makes you set priorities in your life. You try to get things done instead of procrastinating. You value people around you like, families,dogs, neighbours and friends. Not in that particular order but you get the idea. You try to become a better person and hopefully leave behind a lasting legacy of courage and hope.

Oh yes I got my bigger breast and I am delighted. I am not sure who is happier my husband or me.