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Your opening paragraph is awkward

1
5 posts
Member since Jan 5, 2011

My article has been denied due to this: 'Your opening paragraph is awkward'. Please help to change it not to be so awkward.

... How to get to Ancient Rome?

Well, we can watch a movie, make a virtual tour, play a game, read a book, and even listen to appropriate music. Nevertheless, there is one more simple way: just take a tour and visit any of the reconstruction festivals. The latest took place in a former royal estate...

448 posts
Member since Dec 31, 2014

Try addressing the reader directly, using the second person.

 

5 posts
Member since Jan 5, 2011
HLesley said:

Try addressing the reader directly, using the second person.

 

Thank you for the reply. I'll do that while rewriting the article.

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