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how to blag in work

By Edited Aug 20, 2015 0 0

 

I am in a very specific specialised role - that is to say I a work in procurement.  Yes that is right- I buy things for a living.  Now I am sure that you all know that this must be an incredibly fulfilling career (because that is what I have made it - the career, not the fulfilling bit!) because the pay is not too bad (in UK £'s it comes out at about 40,000, so in American, I think that would work out at quite a bit more).  So yes, I am reasonably well paid, but for the amount of stuff I have to deal with- I should expect so.  That is why I want a change of jobs.


So basically, I am sat here (at work) typing out an infobarrel article for the sheer fun of it, and because what I do best at work is blag.  The art of blagging (verb by the way - I am a blag-ger - adjective) is a serious one, and worthy one at that.  Not everyone can do it, but I intend to show how you can blag the blagger (as it were)

 

1:  This is probably the most important one, and will probably cover you for all instances.  Know the language you intend to blag in.

 

No I do not mean English or Chinese. If you are in a certain industry (lets say.... Procurement) Then you need to know all the abbreviations and all the lingo to go with it.  Do not know your MRO from RFP, DO not know your RFI from TCO??  a) how will you speak to like minded people? b) how will you bamboozle the people you are trying to impress. 

 

The very thing you are blagging is KNOWLEDGE.  Fair enough it might not be accurate knowledge, but it is some sort of (incorrect) knowledge, so it has some credence. 

 

Pitfalls:  Some one questions you on either an abbreviation, or something you have said.

 

The way to blag out of this situation is very easy.  The first one - the abbreviation, is very easy.  Nod, laugh and say ' Yeah I have forgotten what that means too, I will look it up.  You imply that you know so much, that you can not possibly remember all of these small things too.  Just plough right on, and do not give them time to question you further.

 

The second one - when someone questions what you have said is to just agree with them, while restating what you originally said.  example:  'yeah I totally agree with you- it probably is too expensive, but as I said, the baseline and TCO all add up to the accruals of 2 mil.  The CTO and CPO, along with the rest of the board and CFO and CEO confirm that the TCO is mandatory- not my decision'.

 

The art is to bamboozle.  After all, who would (or could) argue with that statement.

 

2) Confidence.

 

This is key to blagging.  So many times I have been wrong, and so many times I have been found out, and only a couple of times have people called me out on it (and then it was in a friendly way).  The reason being that they could not force themselves to disagree with me, so they were apologising to me that I was wrong (not that I cared of course!)

 

There is a certain phrase - fake it until you make it.  I use the phrase - fake it who cares?  Of course if you are a git, people will be wanting to find you out.  The main thing is have a confidence which says that you have done the research and are stating the facts... NOT that you are always right.  Most of the time, you have to agree with them first again: ' I agree with you, I thought it was Oxygen we breath, but Doctor Matthews, the guy who made the compoundying theory, disagreed, and eventually proved it through the method of Osmoxification'.

 

3) Make words up

 

Nothing wrong with that - and it even helps to get other people to suggest made up names... sort of

 

You ' what is that word... it begins with an O... osm...osmism.

 

Them 'Osmosis?'

 

You 'Nearly... it had something to do with that and oxygenation or something?

 

Them 'Osmosis... Oxygenation?'

 

You ' That's the one... osmoxification... that would have really bugged me all day.. where oxygen is osmosed into a rubber tubing simulating the gut...'

 

4) Have fun with it.

 

After all, if you look like you are not having fun, then people will be more defensive of what you are saying. 

 

 

It really is a great psychological trick this whole thing.  Making things up, pretending you know what you are talking about, bamboozling them with so much stuff, you leave them with an impossible job to NOT believe you.  This is the perfect thing you want, and you will have them eating out of your hand.

 

enjoy!

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