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Scary Movie 5 Review - Worst Movie of 2013

By Edited Dec 19, 2013 4 8

Scary Movie has been the king of horror movie parodies since the release of the original Scary Movie in 2000. With every new incarnation to the series, they parody both classic and relatively recent horror movies. However, with every new incarnation to the series, they get a little less funny. As they get less funny and more unfunny and offensive, the fan base for them dwindles. Of course they will always have their fan base of 15 year old boys watching an illegal copy while getting trashed on the one beer they stole from the fridge. They will always have them. Scary Movie 5 really plays to that tiny fan base.

Scary Movie 5 might just be the nail in the coffin of this once mildly entertaining series. When Anna Faris, who has stuck with the series since the beginning, announced she would not sign onto the fifth movie, you know it was going to be bad. I know what you are thinking, though. Every Scary Movie is bad, filled with fart jokes, and mildly racists, but is it the worst movie in 2013? To name such a movie so early into the year is a dangerous route, but I have the utmost confidence that unless they plan to release a movie that is just a man farting and saying the N-word for 90 minutes, then Scary Movie wins hands down.

scary movie 5

Most people do not expect a certain amount of quality from the Scary Movie series, at least not anymore. It seemed that once Marlon Wayans and Tim Curry stopped attaching their names and talents to the series everything went drastically down hill. In the best case, Scary Movie 5 could have been the redeemer to all the fans they have lost. Movies hardly ever end up as the best of cases.

At least Scary Movie 5 could be the redeemer for the careers of Charlie Sheen and Lindsey Lohan, two big names it boasts, right? Nah, it is not that either. Those two "actors" stopped trying to polish their trade one panty flash and two substance abuse problems ago. If you are going there to see Hollywoods' bad boy and bad girl doing what they do best, behaving badly, then you are out of luck. They appear for a few minutes at the start, have some comical sex to comical music and disappear for the rest.

In this installment of the series we follow the only returning member from the previous movies, Simon Rex and Ashley Tisdale as they blunder their way through parodies like Sinister, Paranormal Activity, Mama, and Evil Dead. There within truly lies the problem with this series. They try to do "modern" horror movie parodies shortly after they are released. However usually the movies they are parodying are old and have thoroughly been made fun of by the fans already.

The plot centers heavily on a Paranormal Activity parody, which has been done to death already. Since I haven't seen Mama, I can assume that composed most of the other bits of the plot. What really baffles me is that there is quite a bit of Evil Dead parodies in Scary Movie 5. Since Evil Dead came out about a week ago, this means that the writers had to squeeze all those parodies out of the trailer. They probably had a little help from the original Evil Dead, but doing a parody of Evil Dead just comes off as a little strange and unpolished. Which now that I think of it, that should be a tag line for this--"A little strange and unpolished." They seem to forget that the series is a "horror" parody when they throw a few hat tips to Inception, Black Swan and Planet of the Apes. But you know...It is a dying franchise so...Why not, right?

 

scary movie 5 planet of the apes

Probably the best part of this whole thing was all the guest stars in it. Of course, the guest stars only pop in for a singular theme joke or one liner, but it is still pretty fun to play count the stars. The guest stars I can recall are Jerry O 'Connell, Usher, Heather Locklear, Katt Williams, Snoop Dogg, Molly Shannon and Mike Tyson but there were loads more than that. I know if I were a famous Hollywood personality, I would certainly put my dignity aside for a fat check and probably about five minutes of work for a one line parody joke.

Overall in terms of comedy, we have come to expect a certain low brow brand of humor from these movies. This is the one time that this movie lives up to expectations. Really though, is that even a good thing? When your audience comes to expect fart joke and fake penises, is it really okay to give it to them? I dislike when a comedy tries to be so intellectual that it alienates its audience, but is it so greedy of me to expect a certain kind of maturity from comedy these days? I miss the days of Mel Brooks where he knew how to play comedy down the middle. You know, smart but not too smart and maybe a perverted joke every 20 minutes instead of every five seconds. I realize I might be going a wee bit off topic here. However, you will probably find you mind wandering to such cinematic debates during the movie too. I mean, in between debating whether or not you are offended or not.

To wrap up this review, I will just give it to you flat. Do not, repeat, DO. NOT. go see Scary Movie 5. Do not spend $14 dollars to see this movie. Do not spend $5 dollars to rent this movie. Do not spend bandwidth to illegally download this movie. Scary Movie should have stopped at Scary Movie 3, but hopefully it will stop at this holocaust of comedy. You can walk into a movie theater, spin around and land on a better movie than Scary Movie 5. Even going to watch Evil Dead again would be a more interesting watch.

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Comments

May 31, 2013 4:50am
MrRooibos
Great article, I totally agree with your condemnation of this movie
May 31, 2013 5:09am
egdcltd
I have seen the other four films in the series, and they're the best of the worst US comedy films. Not good, but nowhere near as bad as the trip that Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer direct.
May 31, 2013 9:25am
KimChaos
This made me laugh out loud...which says that your reviews is funnier than the movie...that I will NOT be seeing.
May 31, 2013 9:25am
KimChaos
This made me laugh out loud...which says that your reviews is funnier than the movie...that I will NOT be seeing.
May 31, 2013 9:42am
vicdillinger
You are 1000% kee-rect, here. This franchise ran out of steam at its third outing. Good one! A Thumb.
Jun 1, 2013 12:11pm
DollProject
I still haven't even seen the first one :). I am not much of a spoof movie watcher though.
Jun 5, 2013 10:24am
ferpuerto17
lol, I agree they have been getting bad... and yet I have to watch it... damn train wrecks lol
Feb 11, 2014 12:18pm
RLoftis4
This movie never should have been made. "Scary Movie 4" was my personal choice for the worst movie of 2006.
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