The world is getting smaller, and the human population grows larger every day. Meaning that most of us now find ourselves living ever closer to those that surround us. Raising the chances of us one day finding ourselves living next door to an ‘annoying neighbour’, or perhaps, even becoming that neighbour from hell ourselves.
So that while I can tell you from experience, that deliberately going out of your way to wind-up a neighbour, often elevates the situation, making it worse, and possibly making your home an unlivable war-zone. Should you feel the insatiable urge to bring down your wraith upon a neighbour who gets your heckles up, drives you insane, and makes your life a misery. The following are a list of tried and tested techniques, for bringing a little grief and frustration, into the lives of those who plague your existence.
1. Loud Music
Nothing annoys an annoying neighbour more than listening to your music blaring out from next door/above/below. They’ve grown so adept at being annoyed by your music even when you’re not playing it particularly loudly, that should you really let it rip, and turn that volume dial up to full, you’re going to drive them nuts. And they’ll be round banging on your door, or on the phone to the police in no time at all. But your mission will have been a success. One neighbour feeling very annoyed (and most likely a little smug, and self-satisfied, at having been given a great opportunity to dob you in).
2. Hold a Party
Loud music is great, but if you really want to up the ante, hold a party. Nothing annoys an annoying neighbour, over and above the sounds of people enjoying themselves, and having a great time, while they themselves are at home with nothing better to do, than press up against the wall, and listen to your own merriment, through a glass. Your party should obviously be held in the evening, and run on late into the night (and possibly the following day). Music (see number one), should be blaring loudly, preferably with bass heavy dance music. And with alcohol flowing freely, and spirits being high, the loud squawk, screaming, and general high-volume chatter, that comes with any good party, should see your neighbour tearing their hair out, as you chalk up another small victory, to your neighbour annoying campaign.
3. Going Old School
If there were ever anything created that stank worse than a ‘stink bomb’, it’s something I’ve not yet smelt. And just like childhood prankings of old, launching a stink bomb into the garden of, and/or chucking one through the letterbox of, an annoying neighbour, will turn their hair white (not literally), and bring tears to their eyes. As they gag on the noxious eggy fumes that waft forth, when the fragile fluid containing capsules are smashed open. With a stench equal to fifty rotten eggs in each vial, these are a sure-fire winner, when used outside a neighbours open window. But be clever how you use them, if you wish to annoy your neighbour undetected. As the broken glass vial will offer some evidence, as proof of your ongoing campaign against them.
More Ways to Annoy Your Neighbour:
* Send them stuff - Anything from ordering a pizza and having it sent to their house, through to signing them up to hundreds of offers and mailing lists on-line, or through magazines. And the stranger the better. Offers for incontinence pants, and fetish wear catalogues, make excellent annoying neighbour bashing material.
* The prank call - While perhaps a little childish, the prank call is an all-time wind-up classic. Try ringing your neighbour in the early hours of the morning, and then hanging up. Or try delivering long-winded, and cryptic diatribes, in strange and unusual accents. But remember, should your neighbour twig that the prank caller is you, this endeavor will most likely make the situation, much, much worse.
* Advertise them - instead of (or as well as) sending them stuff, list your neighbour online (or in local papers) as having something for sale. Sign them up on Craigslist as offering their car for sale at a bargain price, with their phone number. Or perhaps list them as offering some form of exotic massage. And then sit back and chuckle to yourself, happy ih the knowledge that soon their telephone will be ringing non-stop, with all manner of unusual requests.
Know of any more great ways to annoy an annoying neighbour? Why not share them below: