5 Costume Ideas Your Kids Will Always Remember
Halloween is coming and your kids need costumes. All over the internet you can find ideas on how to dress your precious little children up as cute puppies, darling vampires and precious zombies. Well, what if you don't like your kids? What if you see Halloween as a chance to get payback? I present to you 5 costume ideas that will help your kids learn not to trust you.
Everybody loves Dora! Mix the delightful educational power of Dora with the whimsical fun of piñatas! Carefully wrap your child in layers of colorful papier-mâché or simply buy a Dora piñata off the shelf to form the basis of the costume. And don't forget to complete the costume by attaching a stick on a long rope to the costume. When somebody shows interest in the costume, instruct your child to hand the interested parties the stick and say, "Go to town". Filling your child full of candy before-hand is optional.
The School's Cafeteria Lady
Respected and admired by all the kids, honor the wonderful culinary delights she makes every day. The actual costume will depend on your respective cafeteria representative, but an apron and hair-net is a good place to start. Consider providing your child with gruel samples to hand out to other kids. It's like reverse Halloween!
Truly one of the greater modern day conveniences, the urinal provides easy of use, comfort, and accessibility to millions everywhere. Celebrate this intuitive and time saving device by dressing your child up as a urinal. If your child is stout, you can attach a real urinal to them, but if the weight of a giant slab of porcelain is a concern, you can fashion the beautifully sloped curves out of white cotton pulled taut.
What better way to help inspire your kid and all the kids at his school to eat delicious vegetables like broccoli than to dress your kids up like broccoli. Other kids are sure to respect and appreciate the flamboyant display of good nutrition and wise health decisions, especially during Halloween time. Make your child an ambassador of vegetable deliciousness! Alternatively, you can dress your child up as their favorite vegetable, be it brussels sprouts, beets, or my personal favorite, chard.
Jar Jar Binks Costume
Want to make sure no self-respecting adult gives your child any candy? Then dress them up like the most hated character of the most loved science fiction movies of all time. Other kids may not understand the significance of this costume, but the people who matter, or rather, the people who are giving out the candy do. This costume is sure to bring up the painful memories of how childhood movies were desecrated and maligned.
There you have it. If you want to give your children a memorial Halloween, any one of these costume ideas will provide a lifetime of scaring memories. Of course these idea are in jest and are purely for entertainment purposes. Be nice to your kids, they'll be taking care of you someday.